August 28, 2016
Another blessed day and God shows me His love every waking moment.
It has been three years since I said goodbye to my father. Last rites to prepare him for his journey through the gates to be by God’s side in paradise.
It’s been a long day of work and spending some time reflecting and learning from another beautiful soul that God has put into my life. I come home to meditate and ask for a connection to my Dad for the first time in along time.
I have become a creature of rituals. It frustrates my God and He loves me anyway. He tells me I don’t require all the pomp and circumstance but He knows it helps me to feel more connected and that’s o.k.
I take my meditation outside on my deck. I have one of Dad’s favorite country singers join me before I connect with God on today’s message of love and light.
After lighting a special candle in memory of my father I light a candle for all of God’s love and an incense to help soothe my senses.
Patsy Cline sings softly in the background and as I dance slowly to the soft melodies I dance with my dad on the deck. The sun shines and the sky is full of clouds. A light warm breeze passes by my face and tears roll down my cheeks and I fight them still three years later.
I have tried to block this loss for a long time and God knows it will be a long healing process for me like so many of the losses that He shares with me over the past ten months.
As I sing softly along with Patsy Cline God gives me so many memories of my father and his time here with me.
The father of the bride dance at my wedding in 1988. A special memory and it was the first and only time I danced with my dad. Tears slowly fall and God floods my senses with so many more memories and He knows my sadness because He is one with me.
He has shared with me. This is the biggest piece of my blueprint. God tells me I was born July 21, 1967 named at birth Bella Louise Allen. My purest form is Mother Mary. Immaculate Heart and Immaculate conception. Back in 2012 God shares with me that is when He and I became one. He shares with me over and over that He is me and I am Him.
God shares with me His painful steps through memories of Jesus’ life and death. He shows this pain with me through my heart. God shares with me so much beauty and so much sorrow from days gone by and from the present day.
I am humbled and I am so grateful for all of His love and trust in me to write books of His love and the suffering that He endures on a daily basis.
Over come with tears and feelings of sadness I break the connection with my father and tell my God it is too much. I ask for mercy and I sit on the grass and then I lay on the hillside in my backyard.
The moment I look up to the sky the cloud formation that I see is George. He has come to me so often in dreams and meditation and in my messages at church. George Washington. The first president of the United States of America. I just smile and I close my eyes and I breathe in God’s love and feel His presence throughout my entire body.
A love like no other He shares with me. Our love is in the purest form and I feel pride for my creator to love me for so long. Again tears stream down my face and drip to the earth that lays under head.
As the clouds pass and a flock of tiny birds pass high in the sky I see almost to the heavens above the clouds in the bluest of blue parts of the sky a plane passes over head.
A sign that all will be wonderful for me and my family. Not matter what God is within me and my heart is one with His. My children will be with Him no matter what. He will protect and love all that I hold dear to my heart.
I see another formation of clouds come rolling through and little Miss Felicia’s star shaped glasses are formed in the sky. I hear her. She asks “Meme, lets go for a walk”? I smile and wipe my tears and I thank God for all of His love and His messages with my dad. Felicia and I go for a late afternoon walk as the sunsets in the distance.
ANOTHER PIECE OF COMMUNICATION FROM GOD SHARED IN THE WEE HOURS OF THE MORNING…